Fixed.

Do you ever feel like you want to shed your skin and grown some new? I’ve felt that way my whole life. That’s a lot of bullshit for someone to endure.

I can count on one hand who really knows me. I can then narrow it down to about 2-3 fingers to who REALLY knows me. But in the end, I guess what really counts is that after years of trying to please other people or hiding behind veils, I know who I am, what I’m about, and that I’m a damn good gal in spite of all my flaws.

Hmmmm…I haven’t posted in awhile, it sure feels good to write. Think maybe I’ll keep it up this time? Or just get distracted as always? Let’s see…

I’ve received a lot of feedback about my engagement ring experience, and man, it was an experience! It was fun and exhausting all at the same time! Well, during that period, which was back in January, we got a little sidetracked. Check it out:

Back of the house

Front of the house

So, as you can see, we kinda spent our engagement ring savings on a house! But here in Texas, the market is prime, it’s cheap, and we just couldn’t pass that up.

I think I have narrowed it down to #3, 4, and 7. I can’t stop looking at 7. It’s beautiful. I think I might use most of it, take away the leaf looking thing on the side, use some flowery designs from #3, and see what I can do about # 4, which may just end up being a design for a right hand ring in the future.

I’m sorry, but there is just nothing romantic about choosing an engagement ring. The person and love that goes with it? Yes. But endlessly pouring over magazines and websites in the search for a ring that you want to love when you are 85? All that has given me is a stress/anxiety induced, procrastinating, “what if i end up hating it?” ride to the nearest looney bin. At the end of the day, though, I can still sit back and feel giddy that I am getting to pick out an engagement ring with the man of my dreams. So, yeah, I’m still a sucker for the rose colored glasses romance stories.

My wonderful man suggested we start looking for rings, oh, about 3 months ago??? Yepper, 3 months. Have I found anything or gotten anywhere close? Nope! I really do want to find a ring so that we may get engaged properly after 2 1/2 + years, but I am a picky and actually feel quite whiny about the whole thing.

So, I have found about 7 rings that I like parts of, but not the whole thing. I want a vintage-antiquey kind of ring that I can feel like a beautiful bad ass in. Doesn’t every woman? In this case, size truly doesn’t matter, but quality and design do.

Go grab a coke or a beer and please help me with this painful dissection process of picking apart engagement rings. I’ve got to get an idea to a designer.

#1-I like the setting. It’s plain and simple, very pretty. I like the lines, and well, it’s just simple. I’m afraid, though, too simple.

#2-The complete square cut may be too trendy for a gal like me, but it’s still elegant. I like the emerald cut, though it could be princess or radiant cut, and that would be pretty, too. I like the pave setting. Did I mention I love pave and filigree, and anything else that is sparkly?

#3-I keep going back to this one. Well this one, and #4. I love the flowers, I love the design, but not too sure about the center diamond being totally flush. Still, I really like this one. It is something I see myself wearing.

#4-Ahh, #4. I like you, too. Bunches and bunches. It’s beautiful and similar in features to #3. I keep trying to envision putting a diamond into the middle of all that beautiful band, and I think it would ruin the look, but that doesn’t mean I can’t use parts of it when making my own ring.

#5-Hello pretty #5. I think I would feel like a princess with this on my finger. I love it. It’s similar to #1 but not being so plain.

#6-Not so much on this particular square diamond or maybe how it’s set, but I love the sides of this ring.

#7-I’m drawn to 7 so much, I had to put 2 views of it. It’s classy, it’s sparkly, it’s a little different. This is another one I keep going back to.

So, what’s a girl to do? I don’t think ring designers actually draw for you these days, so now I have to envision the whole thing. Well, that’s great, except what if transferring it from my brain to my finger results in chaos and an ugly ring?

So, pretty please, bring on the suggestions!

I’ve had this blog for almost a month now, and I’m finally, after a gazillion years, making a post. I don’t know what will come of this, but I’m hoping with time, it will help me reflect, ponder, and just let it all hang out. I’m at a point in my life where, personally, I am happy and content. I love my man, I love my family and babies and friends, I like my job, I’m excited about house hunting, all the pieces of life.

Creatively, on the other hand, I suck. It’s all about used to’s. I used to paint, I used to do photography, I used to write poems, I used to do crafty stuff. Where the hell did all that go? Hello? Creativity? Hide n Seek is over, come out come out wherever you are! So, Miss Blog, help me out. Let’s get it in gear and get to gettin!